This is Good: Asking Profound Questions
Edition #1
It can be a hard undertaking to describe John Marsh. He says things like “I feel like a mosquito at a nudist colony” when describing his love of learning from others. Or “I would follow you into hell with a squirt gun” to describe his commitment to you. His wife Ash calls this “speaking in bumper sticker”. It is strategic.
John wants to impart words so that they stick to the heart. This is because he sees things in people that they don’t see. As John puts it, “There is Gold in Every Person if you just dig for it...”.
How do I describe John? He is an ambassador of hope.
One skill that helps the ambassadorship: he asks great questions. He even asks them at the right time. It’s crazy. Earlier this year I found out one reason why.
I was in John’s office when he handed me a small book with a gleam in his eye. It was given to him by fellow ambassador Pete Ochs. John told me it was one of the most important books he owns. It’s the one he gives away most.
The book is Asking Profound Question by Bob Biehl. It’s really not much of a “book”. If you judge it by its cover you might mistake it is for a track you get from a Christian Science store. But, man oh man is it gold. It’s simply a list of 100 of the most profound questions from Biehl’s life as an executive coach. I am holding it in my hand below:
THIS IS GOOD: ASKING PROFOUND QUESTIONS
The design of the book is intentional. Bob wants the reader to carry around the book like a wallet. Bob’s reason: being prepared to ask the right questions helps create answers, confidence, wisdom, and focus.
The 100 questions are broken up into 10 different contexts. Asking, Brainstorming, Careering, Deciding, Interviewing, Focusing, Organizing, Parenting. Planning, and Solving. Here are a few of my favorites of the 100:
If I could remove 1 burden from your shoulders today, what would it be?
What is the key to understanding the real you that most people miss?
What causes 80% of your frustration? Why?
What have been the 3 highlights and 3 hurts of your life?
What are your 3 main dreams for your future?
To quote Bob: “If you ask shallow questions you get shallow answers. If you ask profound questions you get profound answers. If you ask no questions you get no answers at all!”
The right questions help us solve problems, analyze risk, and increase confidence for ourselves and others. They are keys. Answers are always within our reach, we just need help to unlock them. The right questions can help “unlock” important answers.
RESOURCE
John Marsh keeps his own list of profound questions in his Evernote. He is always capturing new questions. Updating and refining his list. He reviews his list in different situations to think about the right set of questions to ask.
Thought you might like to do this yourself. The following might help us down the field a bit. It is a template using some of my favorite questions from Bob’s book and adding a few more:
It’s nothing special. Copy and make your own. Convert to the tool you like. Evernote, journal, word doc. But my hope for us? We ask more questions. We ask better questions.
...and own list of profound questions unlocks better answers for ourselves and those we care about.
POSTSCRIPT
Henri Nouwen said, “Answers before questions do damage to the soul.”
Ouch Henri, take it easy on me, please.
I am really good at having answers before questions. I’m often quick to speak. I often think about the next thing I am going to say while someone is talking.
I love my Dad. I often want to communicate more to him than I have words for. Sometimes we can be together and not talk for long periods of time. Answers before questions. We took a trip one time to the Big House for an Air Force vs. Michigan game. The Big House was one of the last places my Dad played when he played football for Duke. I heard about a book called Questions For My Father and put 20 questions on my phone. The questions ranged from“who was your first kiss?” to “what do you regret?”. We drove from Detroit to Ann Arbor. Watched Air Force put up a good fight. What do I remember most? The best conversations of my life with my dad.
The wisest and most powerful people in my world put questions before answers.
Terry Looper calls this “listening out” of people. He says it is best to ask the questions so you understand more about the people you lead, the clients you serve, and the family you love. When we are trying to solve a problem the person we are talking to often has the answer. We need to provide the key to unlock it. May each of us use profound questions as keys. That is good.